When I was first diving into personal development at the young age of 19, I was very open-minded to believe many of the esoteric teachings that were coming out back then with the New Age movement.
Especially when Law of attraction & the movie the Secret was packaged so nicely, I became obsessed with this concept that you can be or have anything you want in life as long as you think the right thoughts.
This idea that your thoughts are powerful and they carry a frequency or vibration, and in order to manifest something you want out of life, you have to get your thoughts in alignment with that end result of what you want.
So you want to focus on the feeling of already attained what you want.
So what were my results after dedicating myself to this practice?
Does the Law of the Attraction really work?
My personal story is that in 2015 I went from making $35K per year at a job I hated to becoming a full-time online business owner that was making $10K per month, today in 2020 my business makes $50K per month. Did Law of Attraction have anything to do with my success? Read on…
I do see some good in the Law of Attraction teachings but I see some pretty flawed & detrimental concepts as well…
Positive Benefits of “Practicing Fake It Till You Make It”
There are very tangible positive benefits to having a positive attitude, practicing gratitude & optimism and the practice of acting as if you already have the thing you want. Basically faking it till you make it.
Amy Cuddy – the body language expert who has the most viewed TED X talk of all time, has an interesting case study of herself when she used the “fake it till you make it” method to increase her confidence & thrive in difficult situations
There’s a lot of scientific studies coming out now that shows visible hormonal changes just by assuming more dominant or confident body postures, which can have dramatic effects on performance.
Its profound because we all knew that our mind or emotions can have an effect on our body posture but Amy’s studies show that our body posture itself can conversely affect our mind & emotions.
Studies show that if you’re feeling down, then forcing your mouth to smile actually releases dopamine & elevates moods just by the physical act of smiling.
Overtime by simply faking it, acting as if you’re already a confident person, it begins to condition & convince your subconscious mind until it becomes second nature, until that new version of who you are becomes accepted by your subconscious mind and now it becomes the default state, or you become unconsciously competent at it, like being able to tie your shoelaces, you don’t think about it anymore, it becomes who you are.
LoA focuses completely on the mind, but for me incorporated the other aspects of who we are: our emotions, body, spirit was the key to actually making more lasting changes.
Consciously conditioning yourself is a real thing though in hindsight I’ve used these exact methods to make myself a more confident person over the years.
Things that I was very uncomfortable doing in the past, now I’m doing those things confidently without thinking about it.
The Fallacy of Believing Our Minds Have All The Power
The big problem with believing that we can control our human experience through our minds is that it can lead to very faulty type of thinking.
- arrogance – you falsely begin to believe you can have anything you want with no regards to how your selfish desires can negatively impact others.
For example, you might really like this girl or guy. You believe just by thinking & visualizing you can control the outcome of a date. You completely begin to project your desire on to this other person, with no regards for the other person’s feelings.
You’re not the sole creator of your experience, you’re co-creating your experience with others, other people have their own free will.
- negative experiences happen because you somehow thought the wrong thoughts and attracted this experience to you
Life is about experiencing the duality of it, the positive & the negatives. In my experience, running away from negative experience or thoughts made it worse.
Later on as I studied more about trauma work, I learned that resisting or suppressing negative experiences is what actually caused them to get stuck within our bodies & subconscious leading to precipitating symptoms.
The work of Scott Kiloby to me is really profound, he uses mindfulness to break drug addictions. He runs a addiction recovery center in California.
Positive thinking does not work when it comes to these hardcore problems. It again shows that our thoughts are not causal to our human experience. For deeper changes you need to go beyond thinking.
It is going towards more of our spiritual nature where our true power lies.
Our conscious awareness, what some call our presence.
The dimension within us that is beyond our thoughts.
The presence that is aware of our thoughts.
You begin to realize you’re not your thoughts.
Really living from this place of allowing any thought to arise and just letting it be there as it is, without trying to control it or fiddle with it has been what truly liberated me from the tiring task of controlling our thoughts.
When I allowed all thoughts to be as they are, even the negative & dark ones, and experientially realized that I was fine & my world didn’t come crashing down on me.
These thoughts were simply clouds in the sky that just came and it went.
All I had to do was accept any thought and allow it to pass.
Then I was able to experientially prove to myself that there is nothing to fear about negative thoughts, and negative thoughts do not have the power to attract a negative experience or anything like that.
Its when you suppress these negative thoughts, and it becomes locked up in our subconscious that we can experience the impacts of that suppressed emotion or thought within our human experience.
So trying to think happy thoughts all the time, could actually have the opposite effect of increasing discomfort within our human experience.
Think & Grow Rich Myth
Another bullshit concept of the Law of Attraction is this whole myth about Think & Grow Rich which was first coined by Napolean Hill.
But did you know Napolean Hill himself was not a wealthy man?
The idea that you can just change your thinking and you will become wealth is bullshit. It was all theory & conjectures.
I do agree that having poverty mindset can get in the way of achieving financial success.
Mindset is only half of the equation.
When you ask real wealthy & successful people what was the key to their success. You will not hear things like visualization or postive affirmations. Unless these are teachers of law of attraction, & they’re making money by trying to keep this myth going.
Instead you’ll hear them say things like this: hard work & dedication
In order to get rich & stay rich, it all comes down to how much value are you able to bring to the marketplace.
In other words, you need to develop skills.
Dan Lok is one of my business mentors that has helped me become a successful entrepreneur.
For wealth creation, you need strategy & sills.
This can only be developed through a lot of trial & error or the best way would be to get a mentor.
If you’re thinking that if you just visualize wealth you will attract it to your life, you’re kidding yourself.
The marketplace only rewards those that can bring tremendous value through their skillsets that was honed through a lot of hardwork & dedication. Period.
The only real truth I was able to take away from my experience with Law of Attraction teachings is the benefit of having positive attitude & expectations (self-belief) in life.
But from there, only way to actually become successful in life is to take massive action and grow as a person through experience, learning from the failures.
There is no magic pill or magical thinking formula that can be used as a shortcut to success, and unfortunately a lot of the Law of Attraction message & marketing incites this desire in people.
& I feel this is quite dishonest & blatantly quite dangerous to promote to people because it simply doesn’t work and it can make you lazy & adopt terrible strategies towards success.
In my experience, I found that our thoughts don’t hold that much power anyway.
So I dropped this whole idea that we must control our thoughts and I’ve been much happier & at ease with myself ever since.
When you’re battling with your thoughts, such as trying to think positive, you’re actually in resistance & in conflict with yourself. Rather, simply allow each & every thought to be there and hold it in your awareness, like watching a bird in a tree, you just watch the thought no matter what the content of the thought is, then you will begin to discover true peace.
Law of Attraction actually leads to increasing discomfort & disintegration.
Practicing mindfulness leads to increasing comfort & integration.
LoA for wealth creation is even more half-truths, dishonesty & over-hype.
Back in 2015, this was years after I dropped my LoA pratice completely, I met my first business mentor that taught me a skill of local lead generation which allowed me to begin making money online because I learned how to bring huge value to small business owners by generating new customers for their business.
It was only after getting a mentor and developing a skill that I really began making huge progress in my success with money.
In September 2014, when I first joined the coaching program I was making $35K per year working at a 9 to 5 job I hated.
8 Months later I was able to walk away from my job because I was now making $10K per month with my own online business.
Now I live a lifestyle that’s better than I could have ever imagined, working from home & making more money than I ever thought I could and all of this success came because of developing new high-income skills & hard work.
It wasn’t through magical thinking or visualization.
It was through modeling after success, basically I sought out a mentor that had the lifestyle I wanted & I had them teach me exactly what they were doing to make money online.
My first mentor was Dan & he still coaches the business model and we see tons of successful students posting their wins in our private facebook group every day.
Learning the skill of lead generation for local businesses is probably one of the most sought-after skill on the internet today.
Go here to find out more about this coaching program.